All posts by Laura K

Spirit, heart and rhythm....

Mt Greylock vs My Chin 8/14/21

We had a little work gathering in July that kicked me into high gear. My friend, Dan Danecki, told me he was running the Mt Greylock Half Marathon. Mt Greylock is the highest peak in MA. I signed up immediately and then just after, did the epic week of confidence building including 3 big hikes Skyline Trail, Mt Washington, and Mt. Garfield.

Although again, I was near the end of the pack, it was a beautiful day, a road trip to get there (2.5 hrs) and a runnable downhill. Stats:

The only down”fall” was my fall in the last 3 miles on the dirt trail which I broke with my chin and forearm. I almost cried but did not!! I have to admit I like crossing a finish line covered in blood (remember my epic fall just after I had my sling off for shoulder surgery?)!

I also figured out that my Poles are my superpower. Noone else was carrying them. I took them for practice and used them for 9 miles of the race going up and down. Nothing is more fun than poling down the mountain!

I got to show it off all week long – here it is at Nashoba 2 days later:

Lesson learned is you need intermediate goals. Now that I have done this, I am focused on the Kilkenney 25 mi/9000′ run in Sept. I am seriously worried about my ability to run far. I am working hard on hills and plan to do Old Speck twice again this week as we camp at Papoose Pond in Maine.

I have been researching the NH48 so I can choose the right length/elevation trail for my long sunday sessions.

Today; however, was a bust. We have a hurricane coming in. I wanted to run Mt Monadnock twice before the rain hit. Got a little late start and the woman at the check-in said it was pretty slick without rain. I planned then to run up and down the lower section. It got darker and was doable but I got scared thinking of it wet/raining so bailed after 45″ and 700′ elevation. Went home and ran an hour in my neighborhood to get another 700′ – was pouring. Did not do the 3000′ and 4.25 hrs planned. I could barely move later so maybe better to take a little recovery…

the Downhill Zone…Mt Garfield 8/1/21

Hiked 8/1/21 with Sam Broadaway and Gary Lombardo. I was afraid of running with these two animals!! I am way slower and had done two huge hikes this last week – wasn’t sure how much I had left in me 🙂

This hike turned out to be epic! Fantastic non-technical trail that we ran down almost the entire way. 9-10 miles, 3.5 hours, ~21min/mile, 3000′ elevation.

Just like Mt Tecumseh, which I ran down in the snow earlier this year, running downhill was an absolute blast. If you start going pretty fast, trusting your feet, concentrating on the next two steps, it really is magical and super fun. We hiked up so I could reserve energy and had plenty to careen down.

No poles used/needed.

This week has been a huge confidence builder with a total of 11,700′ elevation (skyline, nashoba, mt washington/monroe and garfiefld), 3 long runs 3.5-6 hours long and I did Nashoba and 5 miles of tempo runs Friday night. I know I can do the Greylock half marathon in a few weeks now 🙂

These extra days off are doing me good and am hoping to see the less-stressed Laura start to have energy to do anything in my time off!

Beautiful day. Epic Run. Great running partners. A handsome husband to come home to. Bright Future.

Mt Washington or Bust 7/28/21


In an effort to take some extra days off, AND because I turned 55, I got up early and went up to the Cog rail station to climb Mt Washington. Hiked up via the Ammonoosuc trail and down via Jewell trail with a little hour spur climb up to Mt Monro, which is at the Lakes of the Clouds Hut about an hour south of the Mt Washington peak.

Got some more practice in using poles (indispensible on this hike) and eating my new favorite Jurek chocolate balls!

Hike was way easier than Skyline – the toes of my feet were still sore from the previous Sunday but this turned out not to be a factor. Absolutely beautiful day. Felt good and proud to have done this high, “scary” mountain on my own! Added some confidence in another 10 miler, 3990′ elevation and over 6 hours to complete. Moving pace of 29:32/mile with some pretty technical climbs the entire way.

Could not run it – too technical although I ran to my car after I popped out at the end in front of the Cog Rail Station with about 100 people watching me!

Great day, great confidence builder on top of Skyline just 3 days ago and a beautiful day!


Scott Jureks Energy balls:

1/2 c raw cacao nibs

1/2 c raw cashews

8 dates (PITTED)

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp coconut oil

Rolled in coarse salt. 10 balls, 131 cal, 5 g fat, 20 g carb, 2.4 g protein each. Really great! don’t like the hot pepper flakes

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Skyline Trail 7/25/21

My nemesis. My most hated trail. It hurts me. I curse it always the last few miles.

Ran this trail July 25 for the 2nd time. Hate the trail but loved my new poles and chocolate/cashew/fig/almond energy bites!

7/13/19: 15.8 miles, 4170′, 6:12 (21:16/mile avg). When I did this, I thought it would take ~4 hours and it took forever! I fell a few times, cried on the side of the trail and remember being so tired on the way home.

7/25/21: 13.5 miles, 3668′, 6:33 (25:29/mile avg) – did not do the extra 2 mile run at the tail end. I thought with my new trail shoes and experience, I’d be faster but was not. It is just a brutal slog of technical up and down climbs. Always damages my toes (am losing a toenail due to it) and ego.

The 6 hr Mt Washington/Monroe hike and Mt Garfield hikes were both so much easier than this one. Both of those were similar elevation and a little shorter.

Least favorite trail ever. But good pole practice! The other great learning was making homemade energy balls vs using cliff blocks/GU. Made Scott Jureks chocolate, cashew, fig, almond extract and coconut oil balls rolled in coconut and sale – FANTASTIC:

1/2 c raw cacao nibs

1/2 c raw cashews

8 figs (PITTED)

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp coconut oil

Rolled in coarse sale.

Blend all but coconut oil in blender. then mix in melted oil. Each one has about 100 calories – Makes 10. 131 calories, 5g fat, 20 g carb, 2.5g protein each.

Case Study in Work Stress…Broken 5/28/21

I am a case study for what work stress does to you physically. Ever since last June, when my company announced they were selling the business, over half the company was laid off or quit. This included my team, who are almost guaranteed continuation of their job in the purchasing company – I went from 15 to 4 people at one point. Losing people is stressful – like losing friends and covering the workload while doing extra work of hiring while training the new folks while keeping the fleet afloat has almost broken me.

It did break me, prior to the Grand Turk Scuba Vacation from May 29-June 12, I spent the week lying in a chair after work unable to move because all of my joints hurt so bad. I could barely finish 3 miles and was just exhausted.

The picture above is me floating in this beautiful water with my head empty – just what I needed for two weeks.

I came back and it took two weeks to fall back into a bad situation beginning of July. On the 17th, we had an NEC outing at Stonecow brewery and a trail running friend mentioned Mt. Greylock half marathon in mid August. That gave me a goal I wanted to meet.

The week of the 19th, I called my boss, the CEO etc to make sure they knew I was not doing well and just decided to take random days off for mental health. I am choosing me.

Starting July 25, I ran skyline, a terrible 13.5 mile, 6+ hr, 3600′ elevation trail to gain some confidence. On my birthday a few days later, I climbed Washington, 10 miles 6+ hr, 3900′ elevation and on the following Sunday I ran Mt Garfield 10 miles, 3.5 hr 3000′ elevation. I am hoping I am back and feeling better 🙂 I know I can do Greylock without issue now

Longest year ever. Also demonstrates the importance of intermediate goals to make sure you have something you’re afraid of to motivate you.

Shoutout to Trailrunner Nation Podcast…How to Deal with Difficult Situations

This is in reference to podcast #501 called the Comback Quotient, about a new book by Matt Fitzgerald.

“Physical fitness enables an athlete to do hard things, mental fitness enables an athlete to deal with hard things, and no athlete realizes his or her full potential without both.”

Key message is when you are faced with a setback:

Face reality.

Embrace reality.

Commit and reassess.

Implement your updated strategy.

They also had a reference to a Jocko episode called “Good” I have to watch…..

I was a Madwoman running Down Mt Tecumseh

Stats: Hike was 4.74 miles, 2224′ elevation gain and took me 2:18:55 (about 1:30 up and 45″ down) with splits: 28:32, 42:27, 36:25 (last part at top, short rest, then down), 19:36, 12:54

As usual, I was afraid. I had decided to do my first winter hike up Mt. Tecumseh, a 4000′ peak bag close to me. The hike has one trailhead in the parking lot for the Waterville Valley ski resort, which was packed, so I had to circle to find a spot. I know I have all the gear required and pulled out the once used microspikes (confirmed to be the right gear from folks online who had hiked it the day before) and all my normal trail running stuff – food, hydration, extra clothes, headlamps, safety kit, etc….

It was a beautiful day starting in mid 50s and ending in 60s. Snow was slightly slushy/sticky and packed on the trail. This hike was all trail with no rock scrambles if you take the left path to top at the loop near the top.

After a few minutes hiking, I called Kenny stating how hard anything is in the snow (and it is) and then made the slow slog to the top. Mt Tecumseh is a pretty steady 2200′ up. My mental state:

  • I often thought “Do I really love this?”
  • I learned long ago on hills that it is never easy going up and then you’re fine.
  • I remembered that I had done 6x this elevation in the 26 miles I ran at Killington Spartan Ultra… press on!
  • I was afraid to drink thinking I didn’t bring enough water
  • I was hot
  • My right shoe kept slipping off my heal
  • My former training kicked in and I employed the walking sideways technique and flipping directions every ten steps.
  • Fear really set in during one downhill on the way up that seemed treacherous and was very very slow going. I was wondering if the downhill would take 2x as long.

I picked up a hiker near the top (as I was at least an expert on the trail having a map and studying it in advance) and helped her find the top!

Then something came over me immediately on my way down. At the summit, it was a gradual downhill so I started to run it and then I couldn’t stop. I was like a mountain goat running down that hill gaining confidence in microspikes – it was AWESOME! Best run of my adult life – a short 2-2.5 miles down. What seemed steep going up seemed very reasonable going down. I gained confidence in my side to side skills as I had learned in my hill training on Wachusett last year.

So many lessons learned from early use of new gear:

  1. Importance of Shoe lacing: I got a 2nd pair of Altra Lone Peak shoes this year as I loved my first pair of 4.0 (but not the color so much!). Have hated them ever since I tried them. The right heel slipped and the middle of another shoe kind of hurt my midsole, etc. The other day I went to buy a 2nd pair of the original I bought only to realize they were both the exact same model, Altra Lone Peak 4.0, which flabbergasted me. Why did they feel so different? THIS WAS THEIR LAST CHANCE!!! I loved the colors, why couldn’t they just work like the last pair! Well, it turns out the issue was lacing. I’ve heard about tricks for runner lacing, etc and had always poo-poohed the importance of lacing thinking it was just a detail some runners obsess about. I am now a believer. A mile or so up dealing with the right heel slip, I first tightened the laces…didn’t work. Then I took a look at right vs. left and realized my right shoe didn’t have the laces thru the very top lace hole and the left did. I added just that and it made all the difference – I knew after one step.

Now I’ve been reading up on lacing since I got home and will modify the top to create this “runners loop”. Best lesson ever

2. Always dress for running: It didn’t matter so much but I didn’t have my sportsbra – my back running back did its job!

3. Bring plenty of water: I thought hike might take 4-5 hours based on online reviews and only had water for 2 hours. I did this because the last few mountain hikes I hardly used it. I was worried about it all the time though. Avoid extra stress.

4. Start cooler! When you’re hiking in 50ish weather, start with a short sleeved shirt. I’ve been hot the last few hikes having even a lightweight long sleeved shirt.

5. Practice with the pole technique and straps: I ended up using skate ski technique using both poles near my shoes going up and ended up starting to feel a slight hot spot under the strap on my left hand. Need to loosen the left strap to equal the right and consider gloves for any future long runs.

6. Microspikes: They worked well today in packed, icy/slushy conditions. They did not work so well the other week when I went running in new snow locally. In that case, even with a few inches of new snow, use the running snowshoes!

7. Always be prepared when you get back to the car. I had my list and remembered the comfy slippers to wear home, the extra set of clothes, the Recoverite and water to drink right away but forgot the washrag and was sorry for that! also forgot the banana.

Overall, fantastic, fantastic day!

Fake it Til You make It

Surviving hard times.

I am always finding that lessons learned on the road apply to my everyday life as well. In 2019, when I was in the middle of the Killington Spartan Ultra race coming off the mountain at around 16 miles, 9000′ elevation gain I was tired. I knew my husband was waiting at the bottom and was determined to show I was A-OK! This is what he ended up seeing:

I don’t think I’ve ever heard my husband speak of anything I’ve done with such pride as he does recounting this moment. He saw big tough guys pass this point, who were doing the shorter race, see the uphill sandbag carry and just walk off or sit down in defeat. I just smiled and kept going… and going another ~6 hours until I timed out at 26 miles, 12,200′ resulting in my first DNF on the 31 mile, 15.5k course. My motto I said to myself thru this race was “There are the trained and the untrained, I am trained!” (Denzel Washington, Man on Fire). I also felt better by encouraging others around me.

A podcast I was listening to this weekend, Trailrunner Nation episode 505, had one of the hosts Krissy Moehl sharing how she used to come into aid stations smiling asher mom was keeping an eye on her health and could pull her from the race. Later, she was told she had impacted others by being so positive from others at the races. In addition to the benefits of being positive, her advice for running was if you feel bad, before quitting, eat something and make your decision in a better state.

My advice to myself and to my team at work today is this: As we go through this difficult transitional period in our company sale, stay as positive as you can. If you’ve had a hard day/week, let’s pause and do something that makes us feel better before quitting. Let’s plan something to do this week that accomplishes something at work but also for ourselves.

You can do more than you think you can and if you/we end up being unsuccessful, then we were brave enough to try. If you don’t have some failures along the way then you’re not setting your sights high enough.

Question is, how do you know when you truly should stop?

2021 An EPIC Year in the Making

I have the UTMB as a longer term goal but first have to fix my shoulder and more importantly, my hip pain to survive the training and just waking up in the morning to put on my socks. A few months ago, my PT said I should feel good every day (and “sore” is considered good – I know the difference between sore/worn out and in pain). I do not. My husband had to help me with my socks this morning.

Short term goal by end Feb: Fix the hip pain and shoulder mobility

SHOULDER PLAN: I hit the six month post surgery mark this week. I have a hitch when I raise my arm and can’t get 180deg yet. I just realized I own Crossfit Symmetry. My plan:

  • Massage 2x a week
  • Crossfit Symmetry 2x a day on mobility then strength when I can do all the mobility.

Measure of Improvement: When standing flat against the wall, how far from the wall can I raise my arms. Probably about a 45 deg gap now.

My surgeon says issue is due to strength and my PT says it needs massage to loosen up the cap so I will do both. The worst exercise is the “Incline Plus” position (ie. wallball push) which is very hard to do with arms straight and just the light bands. Yesterday I tried to do 6 lb wallballs at crossfit and only did <20 before deciding the 150 in the workout was not a smart thing to do. What I can do:

  • Pushups at 35 deg – a lot. Will move to floor this week.
  • Green band pullups
  • Tons of ring rows

HIPS: Went to Dr. Kelly McInnis at MGH and got a diagnosis of B/L gluteal Tendonopathy and sent to a PT, Mike Roberts in Worcester, MA.

Problem: Hips hurt when I lie on them at night. Bursa on both sides equally sore to the touch and general pain in hips. Nothing found on X rays. Saw Mike last week.

Measure of improvement is how much I can minimize the space below my knee when lying flat on my back with lower back pressed to table. Starting 2.25″ air gap under both knees.


Exercises to fix Gluteal tendonopathy

GENERAL MOBILITY: I am trying hard to incorporate all of these plus a yoga session into my new morning routine.

Results to be evaluated end of Jan at next PT session. I accept the challenge.

My Evolving Relationship with My Google Nest

Now that I am on a strict daily routine for both shoulder and hip issues, I am reliant on my timing devices for those long, painful holds. I have taken over my husbands Google Nest device.

At first, my requests were somewhat polite and have now evolved to angry demands in the middle of 3 minute stretches…”Hey Google, how much time is LEFT??!!!” or curt demands “STOP!!”

Is this angry domination of this Nest device indicative of my true personality? I hope not.

Small Changes, Big Difference

So I succeeded in a few things to help my mental health and to reduce stress:

  • Thanksgiving meant a few days off and I also left early 2 days. I took off half a day Friday before thanksgiving week as well. Needed that.
  • Got moving again with 2 good weeks of crossfit
  • Upped macros to 2000 cal/maintenance
  • Played piano and practiced sight reading – can tell that is better
  • Spent more time on positive things I can do in the future
  • Moved my standing lunch meetings out of there so I can take a break at lunch (the break was not accomplished yet)
  • Put up my Christmas Tree!

Last Sunday, I went out on a trail run at Beaver Brook, not knowing how I’d feel and did an hour/5 miles and felt great – Just taking off 4 hrs on the previous Friday helped a ton. There were a bunch of leaves and I did one superman fall but didn’t get hurt. It did scare me though so I won’t be doing trails with leaves until next season while I finish my shoulder rehab – six months is end of December.

Feeling good on the run last weekend is helping a lot with my confidence again. Goals next few weeks:

  • Finish shoulder rehab – doing a ton of stretching to fix the hitch I have when I raise my shoulder and getting massages. Have appt with surgeon Dec 17.
  • Continue with crossfit mixing in cycling/running 3 x a week
  • Take it easier at work
  • Less time on phone and more on future plans/studying/learning.

Corona virus, elections, work stress and a plan to overcome

I have been in a declining state of mental health which equals physical health the last few months.

  • My company is selling the business. Because of the uncertainty, over half my team has quit and we are trying to continue to support a growing install base during the transition, which will hopefully occur first quarter 2021.
  • US elections just occurred and hopefully the horrible policies of the current administration will end soon.
  • Corona virus remains unchecked because of the administration requiring continued isolation at home
  • My shoulder is getting better but it has been 5 months now of adding PT appointments and extra work to bring it back to health

In my last blog, I was celebrating running ~8 miles in good health. A week after that, I went to run a few loops of a local 3 mile trail loop and couldn’t even make it running once around. I could barely finish walking it! I am just tired and super stressed.

My new plan:

  • Do something fun every day – play piano 15″ sight reading, 15″ fun review
  • Increase activity levels. Get back and build up strength in crossfit. I need to modify a lot but made it to 3 classes this last week! Standing at home working 8+ hours a day has made my daily steps plumment down to <1000. I can tag on aerobic run/cycle/row onto this but this forces me to stop working and go to class.
  • Eliminate lunchtime meetings and go walking with Kenny
  • Increase planned calories to maintenance 2000 to not feel bad every day about going over and then cut later. I probably have 10 lbs I can lose but don’t want to stress over it right now!

I am also going to convert over to be vegetarian, although not totally strict, and see how this impacts my energy levels. A little self-experimentation!

It is a challenge right now. My hips still hurt from a year ago – am going to see an orthopedic specialist to rule out anything serious vs. just mobility items I can work and I don’t feel so good on just a few mile run.

I need some fun and hope every day to get out of this rut. Biden won and I cried – I think anyone with empathy is stressed about the what is happening to a lot of people right now. I rang my cowbell outside for a minute in celebration and my signage is staying up until the current “President” accepts defeat or is finally carried out when Biden is sworn in.

I also put up my Christmas tree last weekend!

Let’s all hope for a less stressful 2021

Walking is not running

I got the go ahead to run again 3 months post surgery at the end of September. As I had been walking for 2.5 -3 hours I decided to just go out and try to run that. I ran and had some walking but it destroyed me after 2.5 hours and I could barely move running at the end and it destroyed me for the rest of the day.

Walking is not running. I had not expected that.

So then I ran 15 min and walking 15 min to build endurance back.

The good news is that within a month on October 31 I completed a 7.6 mile run in 1:27 – all running on a messy, snowy day and felt pretty good at the end, even picking it up the last mile!

Keep the faith and realize that you really do need train in the exact way you expect to perform. I am not sure how cross training with bicycle will work as I train to run 50 and 100 mile races where you also need to get your body used to the loads specifically due to running….

Beautiful day for a run though on the Nashua rail trail – ran to the Pepperell “station” and back. Note first snow of the year!

A Study in Walking

Not being able to run for 3 months post shoulder surgery has given me the opportunity to study walking speed. As I have learned the last year, the line between walking and running is blurred (ie. going up hills) and walking is OK, something most every ultrarunner will do during a long race – sometimes planned just to destress load on the body. Recall the blog I had last year where it was easier to run 12 miles when it was broken up into 2 mile segments even with 30 burpee pull ups in between. I’ve been thinking that that may be why the Killington spartan ultra race, although with an added 12,000′ of elevation, was easier than running 31 miles straight on flatter ground which also started hurting my hips.

So for the last 9 weeks, I’ve been walking, walking lunging, air squatting, etc as my shoulder heals back to the bone. “Easy” walking turns out to be around 20″ miles. Just the last two weeks I’ve tried to pick it up and see how fast I can go walking. A few observations:

  • By blurring that line, you will naturally soften your knees, which must be better for you
  • On pavement, I am now going 13:57″ per mile even with hillwork mixed in
  • Arms are at 90 deg and I am looking more like a power walker
  • My cadence with short steps, as I do in running, is 145, which destresses load on knees/hips also
  • Videos on internet show fast walkers doing heal strikes, which I don’t agree with
  • The fastest hill I ever did to date at Nashoba felt this way – consistent motion forward with soft knees/like gliding up the hill

So next time I am in a race, trying to be mindful, I have realized now that thoughtfulness about how I walk can save me minutes per mile. last weekend I did some trail walking trying to mimic the form on road and with some elevation (830′ over 90″) only got down to 18″/mile (on downhill portion). This gave me an appreciation for how much just trails slow you down, let alone elevation gain.

Trail flat pace still seems to be over 20″/mile. After seeing the faster road pace, I was starting to think I had been a slacker on my trail runs with over 20″/mile pacing and feel better having done this test.

Post blog addition 9/8/20: So I’ve been youtubing and realizing that what I am doing is “running”, not power walking or race walking where you do heel strikes and have straight legs. Am going to give that a try tonite!

My First Tire change At AGE 54

It took me two years to finally try and change my bike tire. I thought after a year of 3+ hour rides, I should at least know how to take care of it. I got a bike stand, soap/degreaser, a brush to clean with all this year. Finally, a few months later, took the stand out to learn how to change my tire. Forced, mind you, because my valve stem broke so I had no choice.

Wasn’t too bad. Glad I know how. The basics:

Align tire “name” area with valve stem

Take some air out before you start

Take out locking nut from inside of rim

Start at least 8″ from valve stem

Use lower parts of palms to push outer tire into groove

Remove the washer from around the shrader valve so you can remove it

Blow up inner tube a little to make it easier to install, enure it is seated and blow up ultimately slowly.

I use a 700×20-28c 40mm presta valve inner tube (specialized brand)

I don’t know why I hate doing this mechanical stuff so much but I absolutely dread it….would rather weed a 2 acre lot!

why i run and stepping off The Hedonistic treadmill

General situation:

8/9/20 Six weeks post surgery: Sling taken off last week. Have to wait 3 months post op (Sept 26) to run.

COVID situation still very bad in US – most states escalating cases and death rates. Wearing masks wherever we go. Travel/quarantine restrictions – cannot travel outside of US (banned in Europe, etc).

Political situation horrible with the divisiveness pulling apart friends and families. <90 days til I pray we have a new President and a general population fed up with how things are to really drive changes to systemic racism, supporting the poor vs. making the rich richer, etc.

My company continues to be in “wind down” mode with my last expected day end of next year. I have had several team members quit and many apprehensive about their future in general.

So, last weekend I also had an emotional Sunday because I arrived at my husbands RC field to find many, many people without masks in small close knit groups. Germ central with many of them refusing to wear masks so at higher risk than others. I was pretty mad and scared for Kenny and the rest of the guys and yelled at them all, went home and posted on their facebook page asking them to care about each other. Spent rest of the day upset at my husband for not being careful as I don’t want him to die. I am also having a hard time separating out “politics” and maintaining relationships important to me – having had an argument with my sister and possibly damage with my godparents, who voted for Trump yet are religious. I cannot reconcile how good people can support such a disgrace of a human being. Kenny says to think of it as if they are conned vs. supportive of the evil things he does and says as well as all the enablers around him. This helps.

When I got the news of a further six week recovery period prior to running, I was down. There possibly went my goal for the year although I don’t disagree it’s probably the best for healing.

Finally, I recognized what I already knew. Happiness is in the process. You don’t become an “ultraanything” overnite – this is a years long + adventure and six weeks doesn’t really matter.

There was a great piece on NPR today where someone who studies happiness talked about the “hedonistic treadmill” which is how people are always getting more things but never being truly happier. The fact is you get used to things, to people and stop appreciating them. Perhaps that is why I like the long runs. They are hard. You appreciate more the non painful times and by being outdoors/training, you appreciate simpler things like nature, the sounds of birds, the beauty of the outdoors and the drama that occurs over the course of a day. When I had also become more restrictive on food, it made the “cheat” food way more fun. A lack of something renews your capacity to appreciate it. Maybe post this COVID situation people will slow down and care more for each other and fight more for each other. Per my marriage vows, I do make a point to tell Kenny every day how much I appreciate him – and I honestly do. He helps me every day from pulling up my skort, to doing my hair, to cooking, cleaning, and just being supportive of my dreams.

So I went out today in my “big girl trail shoes”, the Inov8 X-Talons, which honestly aren’t needed on the easy Hollis trails, just to enjoy myself, to remember I am an ultrarunner, to remember that it is a beautiful day, to remember that I’ll ultimately be stronger, and to appreciate that I’ve taken this time to meditate more, to get my sleep better, to move my diet to more vegetarian and to use my slower time for more mobility work.

Here are some pictures from the run today:

And one picture of the future, some equipment I’ll bring out again, when I’m ready and strong enough, to continue this process but that for now, will help my car when the snow finally comes back 🙂

The Walking Dead and Getting Shoulder Surgery While I Still Have Insurance 6-30-20

NEC Energy Solutions Corporate HQ in Japan announced 2 weeks ago that they are “winding down” our smallish startup.  I am not sure if I will have a job for a week or 2 years at this point.  Strangest year ever continues.

So June 26 I got my right shoulder rotator cuff and bicep reattached.  My goal of doing a 50 miler remains for this year.  I will do Kilkenney Ridge one way as  a practice run.

#Seenlocal #Seensolo at Beaver Brook 6-14-20….Growing Forward

“In his book On Trails: An Exploration, Robert Moor writes, ‘In the end, we are all existential pathfinders: We select among the paths life affords, and then, when those paths no longer work for us, we edit them and innovate as necessary. The tricky part is that while we are editing our trails, our trails are also editing us.’ The choices we make, make us. We get to edit our paths, innovate them. We get to choose the story we tell about our lives—and the paths we choose, the story we tell, changes us too.”

Here I am again, at another crossroads in life.  My company announced its’ “wind down” last week and I am not sure if I will have this job for a week or a year still.  I am back in a “comfortable” place I have been frequently the last 11 years after I left the “safety” of GE and excited about what is to come.  It is the first time in a while I’ve had a “normal” transition out of a job, vs. ending a consulting engagement where you really aren’t part of the company and its nice to be with friends going through the same transition.  NEC has been the best team I ever worked with.

When I started trail running last year, I saw the movie “A Star is Born”, which broke my heart thinking about my friend Gunter, and listened over and over to the song “shallow” which talks about diving into the deep end and never meeting the ground.  I felt like that all last year – being afraid…committing to something I didn’t fully appreciate or know how to do.  I had set a goal, the Killington Ultra, having never done anything like it and just determined to trust my coach and try.  Finish or leave my body on the mountain – and this doesn’t mean failure, it meant doing my very best and not giving up ever.  Through all of last year, I found new friends, a love of trail running and the fun of problem solving myself.

I found the introductory paragraph and the following in a running blog:

The author talks about finding someone with the “…spirit of approfondement—if I may borrow that marvelous French word that translates roughly as ‘playing easily in the deep.'”

You follow your heart, be happy about what you have, who you have in your life, and grow forward.  Learn to be good being in uncomfortable situation – it is something I hire for now.

Today was a beautiful, cool sunny day and I did my Sunday run on some new trails at Beaver Brook.  It was spectacularly beautiful.  As I think about updating my resume, I realize I need to rethink this as I am not the same person I was four years ago – better I think, I hope and definitely changed. And not afraid at all to go deep.

Tied Bike Hill Record 6-6-20 and New Gear

Just when I was certain I am weaker than last year inexplicably, I tied my cycling hill record by Silver Lake 1:40 on Saturday, near the beginning of an 85″ bike ride.  YES!  I also got a new yellow watch band AND best of all, a new way to attach my phone to the bike for long runs when I need extra battery life with navigation.

Introducing the new quadlock system with extra components to sandwich in my big battery.  My phone, even in airplane mode, with GPS lasts less than 90 min.  This may not be the most aerodynamic solution but it is great for me and I am very excited to have battery life while riding.

I also realized that mapmyride has no vocal navigation so think I need to download map to google map to get turns called out.  Strange that no cycling app has figured this out yet.


Running on a Bottle 5-17-20

The world seems to be falling apart.  Corona virus still rampaging.  Crazies protesting wearing a mask.  Still working from home.  The idiot President and lack of sensible plans across the US.  Even though I sit here in my peaceful Hollis home, I almost can’t stand watching any news.  So this Sunday I had a glass of peach wine from the winery by my sisters’ house after a long day gardening.  Then another.  Then a few hours later two more until the bottle was gone. I was then thinking I should do my long run Monday instead but….  postponing is for the weak right?!  I set out around 7:30pm for my 80″ run around the hood at 180 cadence.  Miles 2-3 were a little tough…hard to keep steady but I did it.

Lessons learned:  Drinking OK prior to running.

No Tears Shed This Year! First Nashoba Run 6-2-20

Back at it.  I’ve been missing it.  Wanting to beat last years’ record.  Knowing it would not be easy to get back at.  Fearing it.  Remembering that every step that hurts there means I won’t hurt in a big race later (that thought is the most useful!)….

Nashoba hill runs Tues 6-2-20.  Forgot my watch so have no stats.  6x, one with 20 lb vest and one with 40lb sandbag.  It felt like a slow slog.  I remembered to pace at beginning – you shouldn’t be tired/worn out after the first third…. I always ran up over the top.  Started using technique I found at Killington where I got up facing left 10 steps, then right 10 steps – just keep going.  Determined progress forward.

I wasn’t alone but as usual, was the last on the mountain 🙂

No new records today but I did it.  I showed up and that counts too.

Recovery, Menopause Amidst Corona

This is day 86 since I was last in work.  We went on vacation in the Philippines and then I was quarantined when I returned and then right as I was about to go back, the entire company was sent home.  Every Friday night we ask each other what we want to do and answer “Stay In!”  I am having issues wearing bras now (so uncomfortable) and accidentally putting my clothes on inside out:

We roll out of bed already in our work clothes and go to it!  All the deliverers (fedex, usps, ups, etc) are crazy busy with home deliveries so things take longer, also as the companies may not be up and running you order from online.

I follow Andrew Cuomo, Governor of NY, as he has united a block of states on the east coast (unfortunately not NH as our republican senator chooses to go alone) to have an orderly, and scientific reopening plan.  He does daily updates with facts and real data vs. the joke of a President, who uses his daily updates for propaganda, lies and to promote himself and the “good job” the Federal Government has done (not).  Tests are not available, there is no formal guidance to the states, the states haven’t been funded, moneys have gone to big businesses, unemployment process is overwhelmed with over 20% of the population applying, and no support with coordination of supply chain for critical PPE or tests.

I used to go to the grocery, Market Basket, early on the weekend and would be practically alone in there.  Now I get up at 6:30 and get there around 6:50 to already find this line, socially distanced at 6′ between each, waiting to get in after the 6-7am early opening for elderly (of which I am almost one!).  I find:

  • Only a certain number allowed in store so someone counts people going in and coming out – only one entrance allowed for this to be possible.
  • Meat limited to 2 of each type/customer as meat plants are shutting down all over the country due to COVID – close proximity of the workers has spread it fast.  Trump ordered them all open this week without requiring employers to follow safer working practices as dictated by the CDC – do your job and possibly die or don’t do it and get fired.
  • Market Basket has their deli/fish counters open.  Hannaford does not.
  • Plenty of empty space on shelves as everyone appears to be buying toilet paper, sanitary wipes, any fast food meals like Ramen noodles, yeast not to be found anywhere (I ordered a 2lb bag online), pasta, soups.  Plenty of healthy food though like vegetables and grains!
  • Everyone at MB wearing masks but Hannafords was a free for all with noone monitoring number of people in the store and many without masks.  Hannafords did have food that MB did not like popcorn, peanuts, more meat.
  • Reusable bags not allowed.  I bring a wipe to clean the cart handle before and after I use it.

After my shoulder surgery was delayed, I decided to go all in and work out like crazy, which then almost broke me.  I was so rickety I could barely walk in the evenings.  Not sure why – in March, when I was in NC I had a glass of wine, which I swear threw me into hot flash hell.  One an hour, which makes my sleep crap.  That, combined with perhaps unacknowledged stress of the 24/7 bad news, has taken its toll.  We geared back the workouts (also because all races seem to be cancelled this year) into maintenance and I am trying to improve sleep (Tylenol PMs working well last two days) and do some meditation during the day.

Love the drama of running the trails – did a 65″ workout in the Hollis trails last weekend starting from the North Cemetary and running to trails across from Silver Lake for a short loop and going back:

I have my buff to cover my face when passing others….

Since working out less with weights and just trying to feel good every day, I have had a few good runs where I don’t feel tired all the time.  Hard to untangle if it is age, overtraining, general stress or this menopause!